every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
