I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
