um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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