We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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