I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
