I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The air was thick with penises
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
