btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
