Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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