I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
