just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
