moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
