Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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