if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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