Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
