I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
