Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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