I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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