I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
