hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
false alarm, still single
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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