im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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