the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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