I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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