I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
