You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
