we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
