how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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