: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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