Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
