what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
