im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
