i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
