We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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