I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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