Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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