I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
