I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
