don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
