she was so not down for the gang bang
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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