I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
