whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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