dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
