the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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