hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
