lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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