These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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