I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
