So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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