Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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