Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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