I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have fence marks all over my body
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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