I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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