Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
