This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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