I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
