Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
home. puking in laundry basket.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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