I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
