Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
