You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
