he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
