youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
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I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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