As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
