We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize