Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I intend to get homeless drunk
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
